I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
