hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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