You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He? As in you personified your dick?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
