omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
