you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
