nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
