I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
