My pussy is not your playground.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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