You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
