how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
