I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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