I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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