i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
