I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
