it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
