Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
