Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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