Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
