Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
