So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
