lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
