we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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