he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
