So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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