Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
