actually, I'm a sock model
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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