Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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