the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
