in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
