btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
