also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you would pick up someone in the library
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
