Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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