We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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