But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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