oh god the rape fog is back!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
