Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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