Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
