I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you win again, gameday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
