well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
3 2 1 whiskey
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize