I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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