it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
