I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
