so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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