Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
