you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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