So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
