My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
