TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
