Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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