Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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