Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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