I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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