so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
