I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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