I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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