The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize