I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
