One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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