you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
