so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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