I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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