she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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