Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
