I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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