I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize